The Upside of Your Darkside
by Todd Kashdan & Robert Biswas-Diener
Americans are not fans of anger, sadness, guilt, and other negative emotions. Just take a tour of the bookstore aisles and you’ll see countless titles about positivity and happiness. We invite you to take a closer look. We think that you can gain more from accessing the full range of your emotions. You don’t have to avoid discomfort to live a meaningful and engaging life. In fact, a bit of occasional anxiety or guilt can propel you to do great things.
“Anger, guilt, regret, and anxiety have no place in a happy life, right? Wrong. The Upside of Your Dark Side illuminates the essential role played by negative emotions. And then goes further, revealing the benefits of personality traits we tend to downgrade such as grandiosity and selfishness. Essential reading for anyone who wants to understand the hidden elements of a happy, fulfilling, engaged life.”
—Gretchen Rubin, author of The Happiness Project
“With verve, humor, solid research, and lots of examples, the authors cut through prevailing myths about happiness to show what actually creates a fulfilling, contributing life. Brave, bold, and brilliant.”
—Rick Hanson, PhD, author of Buddha’s Brain
“The Upside of Your Dark Side offers one of the most important messages of recent psychological science: that you don’t need to avoid discomfort or distress to have a meaningful and joyful life. The authors provide a highly refreshing alternative to the idea that one must pursue happiness at all costs. There is much to be learned from the experience of negative emotions, and from this book.”
—Kelly McGonigal, PhD, author of The Willpower Instinct
Sometimes trying to be happy actually gets in our way. Effectively handling the pain and stress that life brings is an essential part of creating a rich, meaningful existence.
Do we think no one should pursue happiness? Of course not. But if you’re constantly trying (and failing) to feel happy, you might want to consider an alternative life objective: be present, with an attitude of curiosity, and do what matters most to you. We want to show you the wide variety of psychological strengths that are being ignored because they feel uncomfortable or on the surface, are socially undesirable. In certain situations, what seems to be intuitively good is unhelpful and what seems to be intuitively bad is helpful. Our goal in writing The Upside of Your Dark Side is to help you become agile and whole, and by doing so, access your full potential for success and fulfillment.
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- Smart People Podcast with Kashdan on “How to Achieve Fulfillment”
- National Public Radio- Kojo Nnamdi Show interview with Kashdan on “Your Dark Side: The Benefits Of Anti-Happiness”
- The Art of Manliness- The Upside of Your Dark Side
- The School of Greatness- Why Anger, Guilt and Fear Cultivate Success (and The Art of Emotional Agility)
- Scientific American- Dancing with the dark side of your personality
- National Public Radio- Work with Marty Nemko interview with Kashdan on “Are You Being Too Positive at Work?”
- Work that Matters interview with Kashdan on “Why Your Dark Side is Important to Get the Most Out of Life”
- NPR- The Roundtable with Biswas-Diener
- The One You Feed interview with Biswas-Diener on embracing both sides of human nature
- The Entrepreneurs Library interview with Kashdan
- CNN- Always look on the bright side of stress
- Psychology Today Cover Story (January 2015)- Beyond Happiness: The Upside of Feeling Down
- Refinery29- The Surprising Way To Make Anger Healthy
- The Washington Post- How owning your “dark clouds” can actually make you happier
- The Guardian- Bored of mindfulness? Give mindlessness a try
- Fast Company- Stop chasing after happiness and do this instead
- Forbes- Why A Little Bit Of Badness Can Be Good For Social Technology
- New York Times- The power of feeling bad
- Huffington Post- ‘The Upside of Your Dark Side,’ Free Speech, and ‘Problems of Comfort’
- The Times (UK)- You’re a comfort addict, you just don’t know it
- Fast Company- The positive results of being negative- being a curmudgeon could be good for your career
- MoneyWeek- The Secret to Happiness
- Huffington Post- The Importance Of Negative Emotions
- CNN – Why emotional agility is the key to being a better boss
- U.S. News and World Report- The Happiness Racket: When the Pressure to Be Happy Makes You Miserable New York Magazine- In praise of zoning out
- U.S. News and World Report- When Thankfulness Can Hurt Us: Being grateful is good for our health and well-being, but there are exceptions to the rule Inc.- 5 Tips to Productively Channel Your Anger
- AARP Life Imagined- How to Turn Your Worst Traits Into Your Best Assets
- Success Magazine- They say curiosity kills the cat. We say it doesn’t kill anything
- Lifehacker- Save Face When You’re Angry with a “Discomfort Caveat”
- Association for Psychological Science Observer Magazine- 5 Books to Read Right Now
- Maxim- How to Make Envy and Anger Work for You – Generosity and kindness are tools, but there are lots of other tools
- Oprah Magazine- anger, anxiety, and guilt as #13 on list of things to be grateful for (lead article)
- Psychology Today- Get to know your dark side (Q & A with the editors) (September 24, 24)
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